On knowing where one stands - Jay Maynard

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Friday, 8 November 2002


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0358 - On knowing where one stands

There's an ongoing brouhaha about wbwolf (Bryan) deleting a comment vakkotaur (Paul) made in his journal, and then making a snide comment about it in youngvanwinkle (Daniel)'s journal. The whole affair has left me more than a little depressed.

Bryan has set a ban on his journal that prohibits me from commenting on it directly. I've made a few comments in my own to posts he's made that seemed worthy or needful of a reply. Paul posted a pointer to one of those in Bryan's journal. Bryan leaped to the conclusion that that was me using Paul's LJ account to evade the ban, and deleted it. He then replied to a comment in Daniel's journal, making that accusation, which in turn set off a comment in Paul's journal about censorship, and my entry and comment in Daniel's journal about how I make my own comments, thank you.

What's especially depressing about this is that I had, until this whole affair happened, thought that Bryan and I had parted friends, unlike a couple of other folks who left me in no doubt what they thought of me as they departed my company for the last time (varro, for example). Bryan's last communication directly with me was a request for an AppleScript module I'd written for the ircle IRC client. (I no longer have it, and wish I did; I'd considered asking him if he ever obtained a copy.) To find out via a couple of snide comments in public that he hates my guts was shocking and depressing; that he chose to take that out on someone I care about, I find inexcusable.

I'm adult enough to know that there will be people out there who don't like me. I may not enjoy that knowledge, but I accept it. I do believe that one can separate one's opinion about a person from one's opinion about their opinions, and count several people (kinkyturtle, as the best example) as friends whose opinions I find at best silly and at worst dangerous. How many of them will turn on me like this?

Bryan posted in his latest LJ entry that he wishes I'd never linked to his journal. I list people in my friends list who I consider friends, regardless of what I think of their opinions. I enjoy reading opinions that conflict with my own, and comment on those I feel like commenting on. I'd done that a couple of times here for Bryan's entries, since I couldn't comment in his journal. I haven't decided if I'll keep him in my friends list or not.

Daniel is an innocent victim in all of this. The only reason I'd commented in his journal is that the accusation that I'd hidden behind Paul's login to comment in Brian's journal was made there. Daniel is not in my friends list because I do not consider him a friend, due to some major pain he caused me a long time ago, and which I've never fully gotten over. I do not plan to comment in his journal again unless someone else makes baseless accusations against me there.

That I'm up typing this at 4 AM says something about just how depressed I am over this whole affair. I should be asleep, especially since Saturday is going to be a long day of travel, and Sunday even longer, but I just can't. That the iMac I'm typing this on is named wilford (after the character whose name Bryan uses online) just makes it that much worse: I place a label on all my machines with the machine's name, so that I can quickly tell which is which, and the little "wilford" there at the bottom of my screen just reminds me of this whole affair. I'll probably rename it, if I can come up with a suitable name that's not already in use on my network. Hopefully, Mac OS X 10.2 will allow me to do that without much trouble.

current mood: [mood icon] depressed

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Comments:


[User Picture]
From:kinkyturtle
Date: - 0000
(Link)
I still consider you a friend (despite my recent grouchiness over the election).
[User Picture]
From:shelbystripes
Date: - 0000
(Link)
This was mentioned on IRC, but I may as well post it here for everyone reading... My journal is not Daniel's journal, it is my journal. If it were meant to be Daniel's journal, it would say "Daniel's Journal" at the top and tell things his way. They're not, they're told my way, and as I posted on recently, I'm not really the same person online that I am in RL, so don't connect the two that easily. You don't know Daniel, you've never met him.

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