It evens out, part 2 - Jay Maynard

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Friday, 13 October 2006


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2053 - It evens out, part 2

I did more than my usual amount of traveling this past week. It led to two different experiences in the airport...

Before I tell the story, I should add a visual aid. This is representative of what I wear when going through security these days:


First, departing Baltimore on Tuesday afternoon. I got to the airport four hours before departure time, just to make sure I'd have time for a conference call. Good thing I did, too. There was a TSA screener outside the checkpoint. She asked me where I was going dressed like that. I gave her my standard answer: I got so tired of the TSA groping me that I make it obvious I'm not carrying anything on my person. A bit later, and before I got the the checkpoint, she went inside.

When I got through the metal detector, I was pulled aside and given the most thorough screening I've ever had. When that was done, they did the same with my carryons, including doing the explosive trace test on every single piece of electronic equipment I was carrying - a nontrivial number. The whole affair took over 30 minutes. I told them I knew someone thought I needed to be taught a lesson, and they just mumbled.

When I left Cincinnati this evening, the whole process was a lot easier. I checked my luggage, and was pleasantly surprised to get on an earlier flight. That left me a scant 34 minutes to get through security and on the aircraft. I stopped, took off my street clothes (which I wear over the unitard on the days I'm traveling), stuffed them in my backpack, and went through security with no hassles at all. I rushed to the gate, still in just the unitard, and gave the gate agent a real surprise. We talked a bit as I was putting my street clothes back on; I explained why I do that, and that I have absolutely no self-consciousness left about appearing in public in tights, and she got a good story to tell her kids when she gets home this evening.

It evens out: the bad experiences are balanced by the good ones.

current mood: [mood icon] busy

(10 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:nightstarlily
Date: - 0000

Wow!

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I was perusing this website:
http://www.fuzzysquid.com/LJ.php
and there was the picture from this post!

I'm pretty amazed that of all of the thousands and thousands of pics that run across fuzzysquid I caught 'the tron guy'!

The airlines are going crazy; sorry you had such a crummy experience!
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From:jmaynard
Date: - 0000

Re: Wow!

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The statistics guarantee that, sooner or later, you'll see something interesting there...or, instead, you can see a picture of me in a unitard. :-)

It's not the airlines that are going crazy; it's the TSA, which is forever coming up with new and exciting ways to fulfill its primary mission: hassle the traveling public enough to make it feel secure. This is at best only tangentially related to aviation security.
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From:e_ticket
Date: - 0000
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Kudos. You are a better man than I for yanking that particular chain. Bravo. :)
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From:unspeakablevorn
Date: - 0000
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I see that picture and the first thing I can think of is:

Jay Maynard is... The Human Chest! :P

(yes; suddenly, you're a superhero)

Vorn
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From:ricochet_rabbit
Date: - 0000
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Where can I buy such a *ahem* piece of equipment?
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From:jmaynard
Date: - 0000
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The one I'm wearing in that picture came from Pumpers Dancewear. I also recommend Renaissance Dancewear; they're back in business under a new owner, and the previous owner vouches for the guy. I haven't ordered from him, though.

Either place will let you specify color, size, and features.
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From:jmaynard
Date: - 0000
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Oh...you might want to take advantage of the lesson I learned the hard way and order a dance belt to go with it. Check out this entry in my LJ to see why.
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From:rpeate
Date: - 0000
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That is awesome. You taught those punks a lesson, but what in Hell is their problem?
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From:jmaynard
Date: - 0000
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They're on a mission, and mere peons like the traveling public are not going to dissuade them from it.
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From:rpeate
Date: - 0000
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I feel safer already!

Swell.

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