That wasn't necessary... - Jay Maynard

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Friday, 29 September 2006

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2156 - That wasn't necessary...

I've hosted kinkyturtle's web site for several years now. I've been happy to do it, as it was something I could easily do along with other things I do on the net, and I was happy to help a friend.

Apparently, KT no longer thinks of me as a friend.

He asked me a few days ago if I'd quit badmouthing his other friends on LJ. He pointed to one post in particular that he (and a few others) felt was badmouthing another of his friends. I disagreed (and still do), and believe that it was a legitimate criticism. The discussion ended with me saying I'd simply stay out of his LJ and signing off of IRC.

A few days later (pretty much the next time I got on IRC in the evening), he wound up asking why I liked him despite his politics, which are considerably to the left of my own. I answered that, unlike a couple of other folks, he (and I) can separate the politics from the person.

KT, just this evening, moved his web site off of my system. I did not request that he do so, and would not; if I wanted his site off of my system, I would not have been shy about asking. If he wants to move, that's up to him, of course; if he wants to say, I will continue to welcome him.

current mood: [mood icon] depressed

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Date: - 0000
The truth is, I haven't actually thought of you as a friend for a long time, but I've been scared to tell you.

That's got to be one of the most hurtful things I've heard in a long, long time. When friends have issues with each other, they are supposed to talk them through long before the need for that kind of comment crops up.

I can't really speak to any of the specific issues here, but that one comment has inspired in me a desire to never hear it from nor say it to one of my friends. Not ever. If somebody is worth being friends with, it's because communication with them is pleasurable and edifying. If that stops, or falters, somebody has to work to save it.

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