This web page doth verily suck - Jay Maynard

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Saturday, 7 February 2009

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0802 - This web page doth verily suck

(Okkay, so the userpic I picked doesn't fit my usual convention for the subject. Tough.)

I was looking through Web Pages That Suck's list of the worst web pages of 2008, and ran across this gem.

The page itself (The amazing web site of Shakespeare's Sonnets) doth suck, but the commentary the submitter did add is most wondrous!

Shall I compare this to a train wreck now?
Its whole design all logic doth defy,
The text and background colors I avow,
Make train wrecks easier upon the eye,
Sometimes the text is centered on the page,
While images are upon the left arrive,
Though such design was one time all the rage,
That time, we know, was nineteen-ninety-five,
The page provides advice on how to view,
(For those who do scroll down enough to see’t),
And those, I fear, shall number very few,
Who will for long enough abide such shee’t,
But long as tools like PageMill do exist,
Web sites that suck like this will still persist.

location: 56031
current mood: [mood icon] amused

(1 comment | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date: - 0000
That's excellent! It reminds me of the sonnet I once saw in some fortune output:

Buzz off, Banana Nose; relieve mine eyes
Of hateful soreness, purge mine ears of corn;
Less dear than army ants in apple pies
Art thou, old prune-face, with thy chestnuts worn,
Dropt from thy peeling lips like lousy fruit:
Like honeybees upon the perfum'd rose
They suck; and like the double-breasted suit
Are out of date; therefore, Banana Nose,
Go fly a kite; thy welcome's overstay'd,
And stem the produce of thy waspish wits:
Thy logic, like thy locks, is disarray'd;
Thy cheer, like thy complexion, is the pits.
Be off, I say; go bug somebody new,
Scram, beat it, get thee hence, and nuts to you.

I didn't quite have it memorized, so I googled it, and found that the venerable Col. G. L. Sicherman, known to all who lived through the golden age of USENET, wrote it.

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