Monday, 15 September 2003
|1037 - So much for my sense of self-worth.|
Ever had a large number of people, most of whom you thought were your friends, rush to tell someone who is not and never will be your friend how much of a victim he is and how much of a dirty rotten no-goodnik you are?
Don't. I cannot recommend the experience. It is hell on one's sense of self-worth.
I'm re-evaluating the groups of people I consider friends and worth spending time with. I spent a lot of yesterday in bed, wishing the world would just go away. It won't, and so all I can do about the resurging pain is cut people out of my life in the hope that they'll quit hurting me.
Of course, it's happened again that the iMac I'm sitting in front of has the same name as the online nickname of one of the people who I feel betrayed by. I don't know if I'm going to bother renaming it this time, however.
current mood: melancholy
Something that stands out in my mind are the folks who did pipe up and say things in your favor. That says a lot about both them, and in turn, you. I know that I'm proud to declare to the world in general and anyone who comes along that I'm your friend, Jay.
What folks piped up and said things in my favor? Certainly none in the big thread in youngvanwinkle
's journal that was the main impetus behind yesterday's harf.
Thanks for your comments, though...they do help.
I saw that KT and Okkay said some very nice and sensible things. I was impressed very much by their take on things.
I'm your friend too!