When I tried using my Epson Stylus Color 640 - which is emphatically not a Windows-only printer, and so doesn't demand the constant attention of the host CPU - on the fast Dell, it STILL RUNS SLOW WHEN PRINTING!
My boss needs the box back, so I'll take it back to him tomorrow. I have no idea what I'll recommend to him; if it were mine, it'd have had XP scrubbed off and some version of Linux installed a long time ago, but this guy isn't a computer geek and isn't inclined to learn Linux even if I could hold his hand through the learning curve.
It's absolutely fucking insane that XP runs slow on a 2 GHz Pentium 4 with 3/4 gig of memory. If I weren't adamantly opposed to XP in the first place for crappy eye-candy-laden GUI, megabloat, and invasive EULAs, this would push me over the edge. As it is, there's no way in hell I'll recommend XP to anyone for any purpose.